Rock & Roll Heart and Spiritual Warfare

years of endless roads of extreme lonliness, truck stop showers, flop houses, shelters, missions, rejected, inspected, neglected, infected, these are a few of my favorite things down the road of my glorious dreams but i would not trade any of it for anything.

there is nothing better than to have people run up to me and say that my words or music changed their life for the better or made them at least stop and think about it a little differently.

powerful, powerful stuff!

looking down at a crowd and watching them sing a song you wrote cannot be described.

it goes beyond words to a magical place, a place where you are not judged by race or class, ugly or pretty, where you can be you and others can be them and celebrate it all at once.

when you decide that you are going to start living your dreams, it is a scary thing, the fear alone stops most people and if it doesn't, the process does.

it is not an easy road to walk, but it is not hard either.

i read a statistic that said over 80% of americans are unhappy with their job but still continue to go to it daily and put all that energy into being more miserable, that to me is absurdity in its highest form.

fear is a powerful thing and has a strong grip on most of our happiness.

i own nothing but a bag of clothes but the experiences i have had over the last decade are priceless, the good, the bad, and the ugly all shaped me into who i am today and if it wasn't for that fire i endured, i know i couldn't have affected people on the level i do.

too often people give up too quick on their dreams when they are right there at them.

all the failures are necessary in shaping you and preparing you for the things to come so endure the storms and you'll find that dreams do pay off, or go to a job you hate with a boss you hate even more because you don't have the courage to face what you were made for...

the choice is yours and it is never too late to begin!!!

Gutter Dreams

Slipping Away or Choosing To Stay

i hear all the time things about hell.

lake of fire, torture, etc.

sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me.

hell to me is distance from God.

seperation from your creator.

not believing in yourself and your dreams.

life can get bleak, raw, and unbearable at this point.

i don't half step into anything, never have, and that goes from trying to kill myself to trying to top the charts to my dreams.

i have always had the mental all or nothing.

full blown rage, love, and pride.

full blown fool, livin raw as fuck with NO fat in my existence.

i'm either a complete success or a complete piece of shit on the streets of los angeles watching the helicopters fly over me as i try to die in a dark beat down alley.

don't believe me, click on the picture above and take a good look at my face, you might not believe my mouth but my eyes always hold the truth.

when i have been on the bottom, i have lived on the streets and slid through the gutter, i have taunted gang members to shoot me and beat me, walkin through Nickerson Gardens at night yellin at the top of my lungs because i didn't have the balls to pull the trigger on myself, and i got my wish but i'm still alive and breathing and for a very good reason.

i dove to depths that would make most shit their pants and when i have been on top, i have been in 1000 dollar a night suites in the Argyle on Sunset bringing my dreams to life and sparkin people to go out and get their own dreams.

my point to this you ask?

bottom or top, it's all the same amount of energy, you can go either way you want, tell yourself you are shit or a star, live or die,

in the end it is up to you and only you to create yourself and a world that you want to live in regardless what anybody tells you.

ugly, fat, unwanted, outsider, hated, convict, 2 strikes, three time loser, loved, pretty, popular, most succesful,

God's gonna love you whether you like it or not

and as long as you are still breathing, you still have a purpose in this world to live out.
You can turn the most negative situation or lifestlye into a positive one.
The more negative your life is just means it can be all the more powerful and positive when you do turn it around.

nobody and i mean NOBODY can stop you but yourself.

The Little Things

it's been over 100 degrees in los angeles lately.
a true rarity.
i've been sleepin in my car and the humidity at night is unbearable.
went 3 days without a shower.
decided it was time and checked into a hotel to handle business.

as i was checking in,
there was this guy at the desk all pissed off because his remote wouldn't work.

about 20 flashes ran thru my mind of all the places i've slept in the street over the past 5 years and how raw it has been at times.

i had a really hard time trying to understand that this guy couldn't live without his remote control in his air conditioned room.

Life and Traffic

i was sitting in traffic yesterday.

interstate 5 southbound coming out of East LA.

6 lanes completly packed going 5 mph.

it took me an hour and 20 minutes to go 9 miles.

as i was sitting there it suddenly hit me like a gunshot to the chest...

all of us are sitting here waiting in this big line of cars and none of us know where the hell we are really going...

day after day, mile after mile, waiting in traffic...

i started looking around...


i bet some of these people are just following the herd because it's comfortable...


lined up waiting to be devoured by hell.